opinion

"I'm your <i>secretary</i>."

Throughout history, women have been able to hide their beauty with nothing but glasses and by keeping their hair up.

Not only does this fool the men they crave but it also fools themselves. How many times does the bespectacled woman's sassy girlfriend require a montage sequence to 1. remove the glasses and 2. remove the single pin holding the hair back to reveal a hot babe?

It happened, like, six times in the Bible.

Anyway, Smash Pictures is releasing its movie Secretary's Day with the following press release:

Do you ever walk into your office in the morning and notice that your secretary looks really gorgeous even with her hair pulled back and with those thick glasses hanging on her nose?

What if you had the balls and decided today, Secretary’s Day was the perfect day to lift up her skirt and bang her juice box right there in the office? Maybe you’d get lucky and she wouldn’t turn you down for some good old fashioned desktop office sex that you really deserve.

Getting into the mind of the porn consumer is what people like PR Guy Jeff Mullen strive for.

In this press release he addresses the fantasy that behind every available but frumpy girl (thus making her accessible to you but boosting your self esteem because you can reject her based on her frumpitude) is an available sex badger that only you can discover. Then, all you have to do to hide her from your greedy friends is to put her glasses back on.

Further, Mullen empowers the consumer base by suggesting that it get a pair and bend its office staff over the neglected IBM Selectric table. You know they're not wearing panties. The press release reveals an America chock full of women who need to be freed from repression by their wise bosses. Mullen also hints that the typing pool should not deny you your right.

Smash Pictures knows that office rape can be problematic, but it's not rape if your boss deserves to lift up your skirt and bang your juice box.

Secretary's Day stars Lindsay Meadows, Tory Lane, Alektra Blue, Samantha Sin, and Jordana James.

View a trailer here.

Previously: Six in Me

See also: Smash

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

profile

Sarah Illustrates Spins Chill Vibes Into Viral Fame

Lounging in her sunny SoCal backyard in between content shoots, with her hair swept into a no-fuss ponytail and the sun dappling her shoulders, Sarah Illustrates looks every bit the hot mom next door — because, well, she is. The kind of mom who bakes fresh bread on the weekends, juggles dance recitals and baseball games, and delights in life’s simpler joys, like family time and trips to Target.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Nade Nasty on Balancing Kink and Care Behind the Camera

Don’t let the name fool you. Onscreen, Nade Nasty projects the larger-than-life personality of a chaotic showman occupying a world that is strange, specific and entirely his own. Offscreen, however, he’s a thoughtful, detail-oriented creator — who just happens to have a serious flair for the eccentric.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Andi Avalon Talks Wifey Life and the Joys of Suburban Chaos

Fans crave authenticity. For most adult content creators, this has become gospel. Everybody is looking for “the real deal” — and as it happens, you can’t get much more real than MILF creator-performer Andi Avalon.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Sophia Locke Talks Second Acts and Self-Love

Sophia Locke has the kind of presence that instantly makes you want to lean in. She’s confident, effortlessly glamorous and exudes sincerity. Chatting with her feels like catching up over lattes with your best friend — who happens to casually drop that she’s filming three Adult Time features next month.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Nicole Vaunt on Turning Desire Into a Work of Art

It’s not every day you come across someone who can speak just as passionately about smutty novels and tabletop board games as they can about lighting, lens choices and shooting adult content in sub-zero temperatures. But Nicole Vaunt doesn’t fit easily into one box — and that’s just the way she likes it.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Lea Lexis On Challenging the Porn Status Quo

Lea Lexis doesn’t just aim to make movies — she wants to craft experiences. Bending the rules of what’s possible in moviemaking with the precision of a true auteur, the performer-turned-Brazzers producer has helped shape some of the industry’s most striking and boundary-pushing productions.

Jackie Backman ·
profile

Gregory Dorcel on Building Upon His Brand's Signature Legacy

“Whether reflected in the storyline or the cast or even the locations, the entertainment we deliver is based on fantasy,” he elaborates. “Our business is not, and never has been, reality. People who are buying our content aren’t expecting reality, or direct contact with stars like you can have with OnlyFans,” he says.

Jeff Dana ·
opinion

Ariel Demure Branches Out With Girlsway Featurette 'The Dove Plea'

Oklahoma, 1899. In a makeshift courtroom, sex worker Minnie Stacey is on trial for prostitution. In a speech that will become famous as the “Soiled Dove Plea,” her lawyer implores the jury to have compassion for this “fallen woman” rather than condemn her for her sins.

Aleks Janovski ·
profile

WIA Profile: Siren Obscura

Siren Obscura grew up in Arizona, surrounded by rugged beauty and desert landscapes that she describes as having a quiet power to them. That environment strongly shaped her appreciation for contrasts and natural light, which plays a significant role in her work today.

Women In Adult ·
opinion

How to Thwart Holiday Fraudsters With Finesse

The holiday season is a prime time for shopping. Unfortunately, it’s also peak season for credit card fraud. With increased transactions both online and in-store, fraudsters have more opportunities to exploit vulnerabilities — and they are getting better at it every day.

Jonathan Corona ·
Show More